Effective communication is one of the main pillars of social life. Are you familiar with the principles of effective communication? These tips will help you avoid any misunderstandings and improve your work and personal relationships.
What is effective communication?
Effective communication is more than just exchanging information, it’s about understanding the feelings and intentions contained in the information. In this way, in effective communication, in addition to conveying a message clearly, you must listen in such a way that you get the full meaning of what was said and make the other person feel heard and understood.
It seems that effective communication should be instinctive. But most of the time when we want to communicate with others, we go astray. We say one thing, the other person hears something else, and misunderstandings, frustrations, and conflicts ensue. This can cause problems at home, school, and work relationships.
For many of us, effective communication requires learning some important skills. If you’re trying to improve your relationship with your spouse, children, boss, or co-workers, learning these skills can deepen your connection with others. This relationship also builds trust and respect. It will also improve your group work, problem solving and overall social and emotional health.
What prevents effective communication?
1) Stress and emotions out of control
When you are stressed or emotionally overwhelmed, you are more likely to misinterpret what others are saying. You send confusing or ambiguous non-verbal signals and unconsciously have inconsistent behavior patterns. To avoid conflicts and misunderstandings, you need to learn how to calm down quickly before continuing the conversation.
2) Lack of concentration
You cannot communicate effectively when you are multitasking. Whether you’re checking your phone, adjusting your next plan, or daydreaming, you’re bound to miss nonverbal cues in a conversation. To communicate effectively, you must avoid distractions and maintain focus.
3) Contradictory body language
Nonverbal communication should reinforce what is being said, not contradict it. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else, the listener is likely to feel that you are not being sincere. For example, you might say “yes” while nodding your head no.
4) Negative body language
If you don’t agree with or don’t like what someone is saying, you can use negative body language to reject the other person’s message. For example, putting your arms together, avoiding eye contact or shaking your legs.
You don’t have to agree or even like what’s being said, but to communicate effectively and avoid putting the other person on the defensive, it’s important to avoid sending negative signals.
Effective Communication Skill 1: Be a keen listener
When communicating with others, we often focus on what we have to say. However, effective communication depends less on speaking and more on listening. Listening well is not only understanding the words or information being communicated, but also understanding the feelings the speaker is trying to convey.
There is a big difference between listening intently and simply listening. When you really listen or when you understand what is being said, you hear a clear voice that tells you what the person is feeling and what emotion they are trying to convey.
When you are a willing listener, you will not only understand the other person better, but you will also make them feel heard and understood. This can help build a strong and deep connection between you.
By communicating in this way, you will experience a process that reduces stress and supports physical and emotional health. For example, if the person you are talking to is calm, listening intently can help calm you down. But if the person is angry, you can help him calm down by listening carefully and making him feel understood.
If your goal is to fully understand and connect with the other person, listening in an enthusiastic way often comes naturally. If not, try the following tips. The more you practice them, the more satisfying and rewarding your interactions with others will be. To strengthen this skill, you can also take advantage of the guidance of a consultant or expert.
Tips for becoming a keen listener
Concentrate fully on the person speaking. If you’re constantly checking your phone or thinking about something else, you won’t be able to listen to him properly. You must focus moment by moment in this experience to pick up subtle differences and important non-verbal cues in the conversation.
If you find it difficult to focus on certain words, try repeating the words in your head. This reinforces their message and helps you stay focused.
Preferably listen with your right ear. It sounds strange, but the left side of the brain contains the primary processing centers for understanding speech and emotions. Since the left side of the brain is connected to the right side of the body, listening with the right ear can help you better recognize the emotional differences in what someone is saying.
Avoid interrupting the person or trying to steer the conversation to your own concerns by saying things like, “If you think this is bad, let me tell you what happened to me!” Avoid.
Listening does not mean waiting for you to speak. If you go over what you’re going to say later, you’ll never be able to focus on what the person is saying. Often times, the speaker can read your facial expressions and know that your mind is elsewhere.
Show interest in what is being said. Nod occasionally, smile at that person. Also, make sure your posture is receptive and engaging. Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments such as “yes” or “oh”.
Try to let go of judgment. You don’t have to like someone or agree with their beliefs, values, or opinions to communicate effectively. However, you need to set aside judgment and refrain from blaming and criticizing in order to fully understand him. Even the most difficult communication, if done successfully, can often lead to the formation of an impossible connection with someone.
give feedback If there seems to be a disconnect, repeat what was said in your own words. Phrases like “What I heard…”, or “It sounds like you’re saying…” are great ways to give feedback.
Do not simply repeat every word mentioned by the speaker. Because you will appear dishonest or unintelligent. Instead, state the meaning of the speaker’s words. To clarify specific points, ask: “What do you mean by …” or “Do you mean this?”
Hear the feelings behind the words
It is the higher frequencies of human speech that convey emotion. By training the tiny muscles of the middle ear, you can adapt to these frequencies. So you can better understand what others are really saying.
You can do this by singing, playing a wind instrument, or listening to certain types of high-frequency music.
Effective communication skill 2: Pay attention to non-verbal signals
The way you look, listen, move, and react to another person says more about how you feel than words. Non-verbal communication or body language includes facial expressions, body movements, eye contact, tone, tone of voice and even muscle tension and breathing.
Developing the ability to understand and use non-verbal communication can help you connect with others. Make your point, position yourself in challenging situations, and have better relationships at home and at work.
- You can promote effective communication by using open body language, open arms, standing or sitting on the edge of a chair with an open posture, and making eye contact with the person you are talking to.
- You can also use body language to emphasize or reinforce your verbal message. For example, tap your friend and compliment them on their success, or clench your fists to emphasize your message.
How to improve the interpretation of non-verbal communication
Be aware of individual differences. People from different countries and cultures tend to use different non-verbal communication. So it’s important to consider her age, culture, religion, gender, and emotional state when interpreting body language signals. For example, an American teenager, a grieving widow, and an Asian businessman are likely to use nonverbal signals differently.
Look at nonverbal communication signals as a group. Do not interpret a single body posture or non-verbal cue multiple times. Consider all the non-verbal signals you receive, from eye contact to tone of voice to body language.
Anyone can occasionally slip and let eye contact slip. Or suddenly clasping his hands without meaning anything. In sum, consider all signals as a better “interpretation” about a person.
How to improve the delivery of non-verbal communication
Use appropriate non-verbal signals in line with your words. If you say one thing, but your body language says something else, your listener will feel confused or doubt your sincerity. For example, sitting with your arms crossed and nodding your head is not consistent with saying that you agree with the topic.
Adjust your non-verbal signals to fit the situation. For example, your tone of voice when addressing a child should be different than when addressing a group of adults. Similarly, consider the emotional state and cultural background of the person you are interacting with.
Avoid negative body language. Instead, use body language to convey positive feelings. Even when you don’t actually feel positive. If you are nervous about a situation, you can use positive body language to show confidence.
Even if you don’t feel confident. Instead of walking into the room with your head down, steal your eyes and slide into the seats. Try to keep your head up and shoulders back, smile and maintain eye contact, and shake hands firmly. This will make you more confident and help the other party to relax.
Effective communication skill 3: Keep stress under control
How many times have you felt stressed during an argument with your spouse, children, boss, friends, or co-workers and then said or done something that you later regretted?
If you can quickly remove your stress and return to a calm state, not only will such regrets be avoided, but in many cases you will also help the other party to relax. Only if you are in a state of calmness, you can understand if the situation requires a response or if the other party signals that it is better to remain silent.
For example, in situations like a job interview, a presentation, a stressful date, or being introduced to your love family, it’s important to manage your emotions, think clearly, and stay calm effectively under pressure. Communicate.
Use blocking tactics to give yourself time to think. Ask them to repeat the question or explain it further before answering.
Pause to collect your thoughts. Silence is not necessarily a bad thing. Pausing can show more control than rushing to respond.
Make a point and provide examples or supporting information. If your answer is too long or you are hesitant about a number of points, the listener may lose interest. Follow up one point with an example, and then gauge the listener’s reaction to see if you need to make a second point.
Present your words clearly. In many cases, how you say something can be as important as what you say. Speak clearly, keep your tone of voice even, and make eye contact. Keep your body language relaxed and open.
Conclude the discussion with a summary. Summarize your answer and then stop talking, even if it silences the audience in the room. You don’t have to fill the silence by continuing to talk.
Rapid stress relief for effective communication
When the conversation starts to get heated, you need something quick to defuse the intensity of your emotions. By learning to quickly de-stress in the moment, you can safely control the strong emotions you experience, regulate your emotions, and behave appropriately.
Recognize when you are stressed. If you are stressed when communicating, your body will let you know. Are your muscles or stomach tight? Are your hands tied? Are you short of breath? Do you “forget” to breathe?
Before you decide to continue the conversation or postpone it, take a moment to calm down. Then gather your senses to save yourself. The best way to quickly and reliably relieve stress is through the senses of sight, hearing, touch, taste, smell or movement.
For example, you can put a peppermint chocolate bar in your mouth, stuff an anti-stress pill in your pocket, take a few deep breaths, contract and expand your muscles, or simply visualize a calm, filled image. Remember the feeling.
Each person responds to sensory input differently, so you need to find a stress coping mechanism that works for you.
Look for a sense of humor in this situation. When used appropriately, humor is a great way to de-stress when communicating. When you or someone around you starts to get serious, find a way to lighten the mood by sharing a joke or a fun story.
Be willing to compromise. Sometimes if you both can compromise a little, you can find a middle ground that lowers the stress level for everyone. If you realize that your significant other cares more about an issue than you do, it may be easier for you to compromise and a good investment in the future of the relationship.
Agree to disagree when necessary and allow time for everyone to calm down. If possible, go outside or devote a few minutes to meditation. Physical movement or finding a quiet place to regain balance can quickly reduce stress.
Effective communication skill 4: Introduce yourself
Being direct and assertive creates clear communication and can help boost self-esteem and decision-making skills. Self-expression means expressing your thoughts, feelings and needs in an open and honest way.
While talking about your desires and respecting others. This does not mean being hostile, aggressive or strict. Effective communication is always about understanding the other person, not winning an argument or imposing your views on others. To be more effective, it is necessary to observe the following points:
- Value yourself and your options. They are as important as the wishes of others.
- Know your needs and desires. Also learn to express them without infringing on the rights of others.
- Express negative thoughts in a positive way. It’s okay to be angry, but you need to maintain your self-respect.
- Get positive feedback. Accept compliments graciously, learn from your mistakes, and ask people for help when necessary.
- Learn to say “no”. Know your limits and don’t let others take advantage of you. Look for options so that everyone feels good about the outcome.
Development of expressive communication techniques
Expressing empathy conveys sensitivity to the other person. First, know the situation or feelings of the other party, then express your needs or opinion. “I know you’ve been very busy, but I want you to make time for me too.”
Incremental expression can be used when your first attempts are not successful. As time progresses, you become increasingly strong and able to spell out the consequences if your needs are not met. For example, “If you do not fulfill the contract, I will have to take legal action.”
Practice expressing yourself in low-risk situations to boost your confidence. Or ask friends or family if you can practice self-expression techniques on them first.
