Falling in love and breaking up with someone you were in a romantic relationship with for a while is one of the hardest parts of life. You feel that time has stopped moving and nothing will make you happy anymore. Everything looks gray and sad and looking at the smallest things reminds you of his memories. In fact, love failure is a type of emotional collapse that occurs after breaking up with the person you love. A kind of intense loneliness that constantly raises the question in your mind about how to live without him. But what is the method of facing a love failure and how can the pain caused by this failure be healed? In this article from Relationships, you can learn about the solutions to deal with love failure.
Types of love failure
Love failure has different scenarios and does not always mean the end of a mutual and romantic relationship. Sometimes you may experience love failure with someone who is not available and maybe you have seen him a few times. You may fall in love with someone who is in another relationship and feel frustrated because of that. Sometimes you may enter into a relationship where you experience one-sided love and the other party has no feelings for you. In this situation, a person may experience the feeling of love failure and failure in love.
The reaction of men and women after love failure
Studies show that men and women have different feelings and thoughts and deal with situations differently. Most women experience feelings such as depression, pessimism, transference, despair, worthlessness and fear after love failure. But the interesting thing is that women can overcome these feelings and recover more easily.
Usually, many men feel defeated from the inside after the failure of love and show their feelings less. Risky behaviors occur more in men than in women, and many of them turn to addiction, unhealthy sex, pessimism, suppression of feelings, and alcohol consumption after the failure of love. Studies show that men think about their ex-partner for years after a love breakup, and therefore have a harder time experiencing a new romantic relationship.
The solution to deal with love failure
Coping with a love failure, especially in the first days and months, is usually one of the hardest things you have to experience in life. Sometimes, when a relationship ends, we forget that life goes on, and sadness and sadness make a home in our hearts for a while. But you should come to your senses as soon as possible and get rid of negative thoughts and prepare yourself for new life experiences and facing new events.
Life is full of ups and downs, which sometimes inflicts terrible blows on our hearts. But whatever happens, you should know that life still goes on and you should prepare yourself for the next steps and new experiences. In the following, you can get to know effective ways to deal with love failure.
Accept that this relationship is over
The first step in dealing with a love breakup is accepting the end of the relationship. It is natural that you always wish that everything could go back to the way it was before and start your relationship over again. But it is better to be honest with yourself and accept that your relationship is over and you have no choice but to accept it. Grab a pen and paper and make a list of reasons why this relationship is no longer right for you. You need to understand that ending this relationship was in your best interest and continuing it could have harmed both you and your partner. We suggest to consult a psychiatrist to better understand this issue and to be less harmed.
Give yourself time
Sadness and crying are a natural part of the process of love breakup, so don’t hide your sadness and give yourself time to heal. You have to wait a bit for the situation to return to normal. You can set a time limit for your discomfort and promise yourself that you will deal with the situation stronger after this time. Decide that from one date onwards, instead of thinking about your love failure and being sad, you will spend time on your own prosperity and growth and distance yourself from these troubles.
Do not ruminate
After a relationship ends, don’t ruminate and re-analyze the past. This will not make any positive change in your situation and will only make you more annoyed and upset. Maybe in the early days, it’s normal to think about the past and the things you’ve done. But little by little, you have to put these thoughts behind you and prepare to start a new part of your life. Instead of analyzing why your relationship ended, think about how you are going to live your life from now on and what your plans are for your life.
Identify your negative thoughts
To cope with love failure, you need to identify and remove bitter thoughts and negative emotions from yourself. Learn to get rid of negative thoughts before they overwhelm you. Wallowing in self-pity can be debilitating. It’s true that your heart is broken and you don’t feel good, but if you constantly dwell on negative thoughts and think about past events, you will definitely hurt more. Try to find positive points in this separation and dream to build a better future.
Take more care of your health after love failure
Many people lose the will to live after experiencing love failure and use wrong strategies to destroy themselves or perhaps to forget past sorrows. It is better to avoid smoking, drinking alcohol and turning to drugs. Self-loathing behaviors and using unhealthy ways to cope with love failure can prolong your recovery process.
Seek to occupy yourself in healthy ways. The fact that you have failed in this love does not mean that you are not a lovable person. Rather, this issue only shows that you and that person were not suitable for each other. It is better to love yourself even more than before and go for the things you like. During this time, it is better to exercise more, start an art, or sometimes write anything that is in your heart on paper.
Cut off your communication channels
Before anything else, to heal the wounds and leave past memories behind, you should completely cut off your relationship with the person in question. For this, it is better to disrupt your contact number, photos and all ways of communication with him and do not have any contact with him for a while.
Maybe after 1 year, you can look at him as a normal friend, but in the first days and months after the breakup, you should be able to remove him from your life and learn to live without him. If you have to communicate, it is better to treat him very politely and seriously from now on. Avoid long interaction with him and try and provide conditions so that you meet him less often.
Change your place of residence after love failure
To cure love failure and get away from past memories, it is better to change your living place. If you don’t have the possibility to change the place of living, you can make fundamental changes in the decoration of the house and all its accessories. Anything that makes you think about the past by looking at it, put it out of your sight for a while and give yourself time to calm down.
Learn from your mistakes
Life is a playground and we are players who constantly fall and learn how to be stronger in the face of adversity. Don’t look back and find fault, and don’t constantly tell yourself that if you had done things differently, it wouldn’t have happened. Think about how you can learn from this relationship and be more successful in your next relationship. Try to accept your mistakes and improve your weaknesses. Use this love failure to improve your personality and try to make yourself a better person.
Get rid of anger
Don’t think about the bad things and betrayals or discomfort when a permanent relationship ends. You have definitely had a good time together. Try to think of good things and don’t let the seed of hatred be planted in your heart. Erase negative experiences from your mind and move forward stronger and try to build a better future.
Spend time with your family and friends
After experiencing a love failure, you are not supposed to sit at home every day and think about the past. Try to enjoy being with your family and friends more and spend more time with them. This will help you not feel lonely and see that there are still many people around you who really love you and enjoy being with you.
Learn to forgive
Forgiveness allows a broken heart to let go of the past and move toward a better future. Accept that no one can change the past and all the events that happened in the past can be lessons for you to have a more beautiful future. Forgive all the bad things and then see how you feel more peaceful.
When should we seek help from a psychologist or psychiatrist?
Sometimes it is not possible to cure a love failure on your own, or you feel that you need practical guidance to recover. It is possible that you have suffered from depression during this period and your feelings have been severely hurt and you are not able to do your daily life. In this situation, it is suggested that you consult a psychologist and if you need medication, get help from a psychiatrist. Your treatment will be done faster.