Hurt feelings in relationships cause a lot of damage. We have said in previous articles how dangerous suppression of emotions is. You cannot enter into a relationship if you do not show feelings. Definitions in psychology have been mentioned by different people. But some of them were not officially confirmed until recent years. There are defense and suppression mechanisms of emotions in psychology. These defense mechanisms can help people cope with mental disorders. There are different types of disorders in couples. In previous articles, we brought you some of these disorders.
We said how these disorders would affect people if they were not treated. Disorders can have a lot of physical and psychological damage. It is better to use a defensive mechanism to treat these disorders. These mechanisms can be easily taught by psychologists. Next, we want to see what points you should remember to avoid hurting feelings?
Troubles in people and hurt feelings
One point psychologists make is that everyone can self-medicate before symptoms worsen. For this reason, you should keep in mind that the meaning of defensive mode is when you really have a turmoil or when you are afraid or angry. In continuation of this article that was written on Cialiszmed website, we would like to tell you the points that you should remember to avoid hurting feelings. , accident.
Good things happen when you stop suppressing your emotions
Do you have stresses in life that seem to suffocate you? Some refer to these enormous pressures as carrying a heavy load. But the damage it does on the inside is far more important than people realize. Even worse, if you start suppressing your feelings in an effort to stay strong, you will create more stress. Life is full of disappointment. But according to the National Institutes of Health, it’s how you react to these setbacks that can change the course of your life.
What makes a person begin to suppress his feelings?
Painful feelings describe feelings that you unintentionally avoid. These are different from other emotions that you are intentionally ignoring because you don’t want to deal with them. If you and your spouse decide that you want a divorce, this does not mean that you can suppress your feelings for your children. You still have to go to work and do business. Swimming can push these feelings away or suppress them until you have time to deal with them.
Point related to this area
Often times, people suppress everything as a short-term solution when they can’t handle the situation at the moment. The key is that you have to deal with them at some point or it will be a big problem. Repressed feelings are those feelings that you never address. Do not think that if you deal with them, these painful feelings will disappear. In most cases, it appears as physical pain and discomfort. Because your emotions cause great internal discomfort.
Example related to this field
A hypothetical example is a person who lost his mother at a young age. She was forced to live with a father who did not know how to communicate with her and often felt lonely. During his teenage years, his father was very abusive. He grew up believing that there was something wrong with him and that he was a bad kid that made his mother sick. This suppression of emotions is also emphasized. Because his father didn’t like him either. The feeling of failure and rejection was destroying his life.
The burdens a child bears are too great for any individual to bear, and what happens to a person in childhood affects them in adulthood. He also suppressed years of frustration and feelings of inferiority that spilled over into his marriage. Many people suffer from depression, anxiety, and bipolar disorder.
Common types of hurt feelings
Most of the emotions that you suppress are annoying or that cause you great discomfort. The most pent-up emotions are anger, sadness, fear, despair and despair. Basically, people suppress those negative things. It’s not uncommon for people to fear other people’s judgment, or you may end up beating yourself up. In most cases, these feelings arise from childhood. Parents have not been adept at psychological aspects in the past, although much progress has been made.
Point related to this area
Parents don’t always agree with your feelings, and may encourage you not to cry or show any anger. Therefore, you learn to suppress feelings so as not to get into trouble. You’ve learned to let go of your feelings, and that can follow you into adulthood.
Here are some positive things that happen when you stop hurting feelings
What pressures do you carry with you daily?
By not hurting your feelings, your blood pressure will drop
There is a direct relationship between your blood pressure and your stress level. According to the National Institutes of Health, when you feel stressed, your body releases hormones like cortisol and adrenaline to fight the feelings. These hormones increase your blood pressure levels. Therefore, it makes sense that when you stop suppressing the things that cause you stress, your blood pressure will drop.
Tips to keep in mind to avoid hurt feelings
Hurting people’s feelings is often more painful for the affected person. It can also be as difficult to treat as a physical wound. Words can hurt. But you have the power to control what you say to others, so read some rules to avoid hurting feelings. Some rules to remember so as not to hurt people’s feelings.
The people in front of you are not the same as you in terms of behavior
Before you speak, remember that it is unfair to treat someone as if they should treat you like you. They have different experiences, support systems, finances, beliefs, values, and other things that make them different from you. So don’t expect them to behave in similar situations.
Your expectations may influence their behavior
What if what you say causes the person to change their mind completely and do the opposite of what you think they should do? Would you be disappointed that they didn’t listen to you?
Check your intentions
When you speak, do you intend to help, inform, encourage, discourage or support? Most people talk with the intention of helping, but end up talking with the feeling that the other person is being criticized. If you heard the words you want to say to someone else from your parents, would they sound supportive? How can you best help hurt a person’s feelings?
Some words are socially negative
For example, if I tell you that you are not fat, you will or will not bother hearing that word. Your reaction and response to the person’s words is your responsibility. However, in general, the word “fat” is not a positive or uplifting word in our society. As a test, ask yourself if the words you use are nice, cheerful, or anything you say to your boss. If the answer is no, use another word or method to express your meaning. Again, what do you mean by saying this?
Your idea of what’s annoying is different from theirs
You have no way of knowing a person’s pain history, even if you know some details. Know that your audience is nice, but they may not be nice enough to avoid hurt feelings.
Avoid uncomfortable topics to avoid hurt feelings
Family history, health concerns, religious or spiritual beliefs, political issues, and intimacy are issues associated with emotional discomfort and sensitivity. Allow the other party to keep these matters private unless you are involved first.
Avoid deleting people
In the journal Behavioral and Neural Evidence, researchers report that social rejection activates the same area of the brain as physical pain. Even taking an over-the-counter drug like acetaminophen can help when feelings are hurting. Turning your body over to keep someone out of the conversation is a great way to hurt someone’s feelings. If your discussion does not suit them, please say that you need a few minutes of time just to talk to so and so and they will be happy to include them.
You’re not perfect either
Nobody is perfect and we all make mistakes. Do you enjoy when others point out your mistakes?
Avoid talking about appearance
Other people still deserve our respect no matter what they look like. Researchers who have studied the causes of emotional distress have found that low self-esteem and poor relationships are associated with people who report emotional distress. The experience of hurt feelings depends on the severity of the hurt feelings, and their desire to avoid the person who hurt them. Also, their feelings depend on their reaction when they are hurt.
Point related to this area
If you can’t show someone the anxious look on your face? What are you doing? He might get hurt by your words if he just reads them without knowing your emotional state.